Paranormal Activity

Well, I don't think I'm going to get back to sleep any time soon, so it seems like a good time for a blog entry.

Things have been pretty quiet here ever since my last doctor's appointment. I've been preparing for my Bond Breaker presentation at work, and I'll be heading up to New York for that tomorrow afternoon. At home, I've mostly been trying to play as many video games as possible because I have had a serious backlog ever since the PSP Go came out. I'm currently working on Wild Arms XF (which is pretty good!) and Demon's Souls. The latter really bothers me because the title is so stupid and they really made some terrible game play decisions. Unfortunately, it's for the PS3, so that means I'll need to keep playing it until I get the platinum trophy (or risk breaking my current streak!).

This weekend was somewhat busy due to a day with Ted's friends on Saturday and then lunch with his dad on Sunday. The biggest thing of note was that we went to see Paranormal Activity with Kevin on Saturday night. I really enjoy scary movies, so I had little doubt that I would enjoy it, but I'm pretty sure that this movie is the scariest movie I've ever seen. It's not that there are a lot of things jumping out at you suddenly (though there are a few). Instead the movie relies on a steady build of tension as the events unfold and escalate to an inescapable conclusion. The part that makes the movie really scary, though, is the fact that it seems so realistic and that it all takes place in a fairly normal couple's bedroom.

After watching the movie, you're left with a bunch of haunting images of events from the movie that would freak the crap out of you if they happened in real life. Then when you try to go to sleep at night, your imagination gets the best of you and you really start to think about those events and worry more and more that something like them could happen to you. You remind yourself that the paranormal isn't real, but it's a small comfort since you can't shake the images from your head and they seemed so authentic.

So, that being said, I've had trouble falling asleep the past three nights. Not a lot, mind you... eventually I find a new topic to occupy my mind and have no trouble falling asleep. But the movie is usually the first thing that comes to mind and so it takes some time to get past it.

Tonight, on the other hand, I had no trouble whatsoever falling asleep. On the past three nights, as is typical, Ted fell asleep before I did, but tonight I fell asleep first. I think that could have been the difference. I'm not quite sure what happened, but all of a sudden I found myself bolt upright in bed. Ted was already sitting up and screaming in genuine terror. I grabbed his shoulder and arm to try to calm him down and he started looking at me and continued to scream, at me, for about five more seconds. I finally calmed him down enough to get him to tell me what was happening, and he said that he must have heard Shabby knock over a glass or something. Vaguely in the back of my head I felt as if I had probably accidentally tapped my night stand, which has three glasses on it sitting side by side so they would clink together, enough to make a noise but not enough to wake me up at least.

Needless to say, this whole incident freaked us both out quite a bit, but I think we're calming down enough now to go back to sleep. Immediately afterward my heart was racing really fast and I was actually a little worried about it, but it's fine now. I guess I'm just surprised because I didn't think Ted was really having any after-effects from the movie like I was, but I guess he must have been...

I've Got Mail!

Today my labmate, Cristian, defended his dissertation. I've been working with him for several years, and in fact I'm a co-author on many of his papers, so I really would have loved to have been there for his defense. Instead, I was stuck at home waiting for the delivery man to deliver my Gleevec.

Here's the deal with Gleevec. It's actually really expensive at $100 per pill or so, and I, thinking I was a relatively healthy 26 year old, decided not to purchase prescription insurance. Fortunately for me, Novartis, the company that makes Gleevec, has a program for people exactly like me: less than 5 times the poverty level, less than $75,000 in savings, and no prescription insurance. I am incredibly thankful that they actually give me the pills for free! It's funny; I would be paying much more if I actually had prescription insurance.

In any case, I was approved for this program on Friday. Until today, I had been living off of medication the doctors gave to me at the hospital, and I could tell that they were running out of options for getting me deals on it. Today the delivery man delivered a month's worth of Gleevec. To my surprise, he also delivered something I ordered last week, a new pill box!

From Miscellaneous

I'm really pleased with it! I figured that since I'd be on pills for the rest of my life, I might as well have a convenient way of carrying them. I wish it were a tiny bit smaller, so that it would fit into my change pocket, but I really can't complain.

Fortunately, my deliveries arrived in time for me to catch up with the lab before they went out to lunch. On my way to the lab, I ran for a few minutes in order to catch the bus. As I was running, I suddenly felt a pain in my chest, and at first I thought it was my heart. My heart was pounding, way harder than it usually does when I'm exercising. But I eventually realized that the pain was a bit lower, and I think it was more related to the fact that I strained my muscles a bit carrying home groceries last night. For kicks, I tried running on the way home also, and felt it again. I'm definitely going to ask the doctor about it at our appointment on Thursday, and until then I'll try to manage my exercise routine carefully.

Despite being distracted by side effects, I was very productive at work today, and we all got to have fun at Cristian's celebratory lunch. Between my productivity this weekend with installing Ubuntu 9.04 and with my work today, I'm really feeling like I'm getting my life back on track, and that makes me really happy.

Racing heart

Well, I did manage to finish installing and configuring Ubuntu 9.04 last night around 5 AM. I think in the long run I'll be happy that I had to install from scratch. The system is running very smoothly and I'm pretty satisfied with it.

After finishing, I tried to go to sleep, and had a lot of trouble. I had been retaining water all day, and my legs felt very odd. Laying down was pretty uncomfortable, and I noticed my heart was racing. I was especially nervous since Ted wasn't around to help if I had a problem. I made it through the night, and Ted returned today.

Whenever my heart races, I can't help but feel nervous. Right now all of my blood cell counts are low, and I worry that if something did go horribly wrong that I wouldn't be able to tell that it was coming. This just makes my heart race more, so I had to really focus last night to calm down and keep a steady beat going. Eventually, counting my heart beats put me to sleep, and I made it through the night. Around 8 AM I got up and turned on the TV, then fell asleep again on the couch until 10:30. After that, I was fine, and a lot of the fluid retention was gone. I'm still retaining a bit though; I've been drinking a lot of water all day long, so hopefully that will help.

I'll try to give some updates on the progression of my blood cell counts after my appointment on Thursday. I will be very interested to see those results, and I hope that they've gone up from last week.

I need to do some work tomorrow; hopefully I'll finish cleaning up the camera ready version of my HotNets paper, I'll write my part of the quarterly report for the GeoMAN project, and I'll pick out and read a paper for Syschat on Wednesday. These all kind of depend on when my medicine arrives tomorrow; I'll wait until then to explain the deal with my medicine. In any case, I'm going to bed now to try to fix my sleep cycle. Goodnight!