Achievements

I told myself that I wouldn't post another post on this blog until I published Chimera, and that's exactly what has happened. To remind everyone, Chimera is the fantasy novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo back in November. A lot of comments and proofreading later, it's now available for purchase! I'm really excited about it, because I really enjoyed writing it and I hope that people will enjoy reading it. I'm already thinking about the potential for a sequel this coming November, and I have a lot of good ideas for it. The real question is if I'll have time to work on it.

The point of NaNoWriMo for me was to recover from my bone marrow transplant treatment in the most important way: to become a productive person again. Months in the hospital can really weigh on you. It disrupts your plan for your life, and if you aren't careful, all of those skills, talents, and muscles that you've spent your entire life working on can atrophy pretty quickly. I wanted to reclaim my lost productivity, and NaNoWriMo gave me a solid and fun goal to do that. The best part is that it worked.

Shortly after NaNoWriMo, I had the idea for a mobile app, a sort of modern jukebox where you can vote on the music playing at participating social venues. Then UMD announced a competition, the Mobility Contest, a joint venture between the business school and the CS department to develop a mobile app that improves campus life. With the renewed productivity that NaNoWriMo gave me, I dove in headfirst, simultaneously juggling my research responsibilities and Atmo, my mobile app. Several months of coding later, I won the second place trophy and a giant check for $2000. It was great, and exciting.

Although I have been very productive and very successful for months now, I've kind of run out of steam. I put on a bunch of weight - from my medication and eating habits, not because I've been working hard - and have been feeling a general weariness that makes it difficult to do any work outside of the time I typically reserve for research. This is becoming a problem, because Atmo is turning into a full-fledged business, I'm the only developer for it, and there's a lot of work to do for it still.

I've started waking up earlier and doing Wii Fit daily; I'm hoping that I can turn that into some momentum to get my life (and my fitness) on track again. I've started walking to and from work instead of taking the bus, now that it's warm out. I'm always taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I've only been doing all of this for a week now, but I'm already feeling the results (even if I'm not seeing them yet). I feel sharper, more focused, and I have more energy in general. The only problem that this isn't solving is my eye problems. GVHD can apparently give you chronic dry eyes, and even though I'm on Restasis now it doesn't seem to do much for me. I can stare at a computer screen for about four or five hours before everything starts getting blurry and my eyes start to ache. So even when I feel good enough to do more work, it's often very difficult to do so, and I find myself doing stupid things like coding with one eye closed. This is one of the harder changes to adapt to, but I'm working on it. I'm nothing if not adaptable.

I have to admit that part of the reason I did the Mobility Contest was for the money. Medical bills really add up over time, so I thought it would be good (and perhaps necessary) to boost my income. This was especially relevant because Ted had a lot of trouble finding a job. It took him about a year, but he finally got the job that he wanted with the Department of Defense. It pays really well, so I'm far less worried about our finances than I used to be. However, we did just get a new car (so that he could get to his new job), and that's going to be pretty expensive for a good long while. We need a bit of time to see how our finances are going to be in the long run, but in the meantime you can always help by buying that book I mentioned, or by pointing an Angel investor our way for Atmo.

Spending Spree

I don't know what's wrong with me. You'd think that with the impending uncertainty involving Ted's employment that I would be a bit more hesitant to spend my money, but it seems that the opposite is true.

First, there have been the necessities.  For example, the $340 on Fang Heisenburg, our car.  This is in addition to the $1000 for the initial set of repairs and the $300 for the tune-up at Jiffy Lube.  I admit it now: we overpaid for a lemon.  I blame it partially on my health.  We went car shopping very soon after I got out of the hospital, and car shopping took a lot out of me, to the point where I was too willing to settle and neither Ted nor Dad stopped me.  The car itself is a 2002 Ford Escort with 93k miles on it, and we paid about $5600 for it after taxes and fees.  Then there's the $800 insurance that I paid. Car ownership is terrible.

In any case, most of the car expenses have been spread out, so it's not too bad.  It's just that there have been a lot of annoying expenses, lately.  $300 to replace my failing PS3. $120 to replace my failing router (granted, I got a top of the line router).  It just feels like everything is failing around me.  And just a few days ago, Ted's laptop (and only computer) died.

Then of course there's food, and I've been eating a lot of it.  Food can be very expensive when you consume it in those quantities. I felt bad that I was eating so much food, so I picked up the grocery bill by myself several times after getting out of the hospital.

Of course, my real weakness is luxuries. I've been splurging on video games and downloadable content now that I'm enjoying games again.  I've probably spent more than $200 on that stuff in  the past month. Then there's also the Nook for $260 and probably about $100 of e-books.  Pretty soon I'm going to get a Droid X for $200 and I'm going to finally start paying for my cell phone, which will be $40 a month on our special retiree family plan (Dad used to work for Bell Atlantic) including voice and data.  Thank goodness today is payday.

At least I have prescription insurance now! That makes my medicine a lot cheaper at least.  A LOT.

As for my health, things look good right now.  I got the vaccinations that I need in preparation for the splenectomy. I'll be meeting with the surgeon next Friday to schedule that.  My blood cell counts are much better than last week, too.  I did end up coming home an hour early today, though, since my shoulders are kind of hurting at the vaccination sites, it's pretty disracting, and I had reached a good stopping point.

There's a Splenectomy in Your Future

Well, the CT scan showed that the spleen is about twice the size that it should be, so at this point we're pretty sure that it's coming out.  I'm OK with it, and once I convinced Mom that I would be better for it, she seemed to be OK with it too.  I think it was the doctor telling her that there could be leukemic cells hiding in the spleen that finally convinced her that removing the spleen was OK.

I think I might see if I can't get a Droid with a data plan before I go into the hospital.  Hopefully by then my copy of Baldur's Gate will have arrived, and hopefully it will work with PlayOnLinux on my laptop.  And who knows, maybe I'll even do some work while I'm in the hospital this time.

There is some good news: I only have to see the doctor once next week (instead of the previous twice-a-week).  That means I get to go into work four days instead of three. Oh, except the University is closed Monday.  As much as I shouldn't take the time off, maybe I will anyway to spend the day with Ted.  That would be nice.

After my doctor's visit today, I was going to try to get our car inspected for emissions and get a prescription filled.  On the way to the emissions inspection station, Ted discovered that if the Check Engine light is on, you fail automatically, so I'll have to take the car in to the mechanic again tomorrow and hopefully he can fix that before the emissions inspection deadline on the 7th.

Then I went to CVS to get my prescription filled.  First, they had a lot of trouble verifying the prescription. Then when they did, they didn't have the generic version of the drug (tacrolimus). She gave me two pills of the brand name drug for free and told me to come back tomorrow after they ordered the generic stuff.  It's only going to be $5 with my prescription coverage (as opposed to the $200 it was before)!  I don't understand how health insurance/health care works.

Finally, Ted just got the unfortunate news that the NSA will not be hiring him, so pretty soon he'll be unemployed.  If you or anyone you know is looking to hire a math Ph.D., let me know.

Going Back to OK

As expected, Mom worried everyone for no reason.  The bone marrow biopsy revealed that there were still no cancer cells in my bone marrow, which again is a really good sign that the leukemia is cured.  What's more, Dr. Yanovich (my primary doctor, now) felt around and he thinks my spleen is actually shrinking, that the CT scan was in some way anomalous due to the medication I received in the hospital.

So basically Dr. Akpek made my mom panic over nothing.  And panic she did: I didn't realize how worried she was until Billy came with her to the doctor last Monday.  She felt a little foolish after I explained things to her, but at least she's not as worried now.

Just to be sure, they did another CT scan on Monday.  I'll get the results tomorrow, but I'm sure my spleen will be smaller.

My appetite is becoming managable.  I think it has helped that I've had a lot to do recently, between Ted's parents being in town and with Bobby and Hillary leaving. I haven't had a chance to cook for almost a week, really, and I've been kind of forced to eat out more than I'd like given my neutropenia.  But the food was great, and I don't think I had to pay for anything.  Always a plus.

My energy level is waning, but I'm still getting in to work whenever I don't go to the hospital.  I'm just really tired afterward, you know, like a normal person.  At least I'm making progress again, finally, even if it's a bit slower than I'd like.  I'm still going to try to propose this summer, but we'll see if I manage it.

Finally, I think my depression is finally clearing up.  I was feeling pretty down while I was in the hospital, and I could tell because I didn't want to play video games.  But that's all cleared up now, and I'm enjoying Star Ocean: The Last Hope (even though I had to replace my PS3 to play it) and Civilization 4 (which I got to work in Linux).  It feels really good to be getting back to a fairly normal life.  Now if I could just cut down on the doctor visits...

Pop Bone Marrow Biopsy

I got the results from my CT scan.  My GI tract has healed; I could have told you this because my bowel movements have been nice and solid recently.  Unfortunately, the CT scan also revealed that my spleen is growing again. This could be a sign that the leukemia is coming back, so the doctor decided to do yet another bone marrow biopsy. Unfortunately, the doctor either didn't care how or didn't know how to make the bone marrow biopsy as painless as possible; it really seemed like he wasn't even trying. It was hands down the most painful thing I've ever experienced, though gout still reigns supreme as being the most painful for the longest amount of time.

In any case, depending on the bone marrow biopsy, I'm not sure what's going to happen.  The doctor said that there's a chance they might remove my spleen.  Apparently the spleen acts as a sponge for blood cells, so my enlarged spleen is part of the explanation for why I've been needing platelets and white blood cells recently.  Removing the spleen would help with this, and I guess the liver will pick up the slack, according to the doctor.  Still, I hesitate when the doctor suggests removing an organ; it sounds like such a permanent solution to what could be a temporary problem.

Naturally, Mom and Dad are freaking out about this. What's worse, they're telling other people. They don't understand that it's not unusual for leukemia patients to have their spleens removed, so they think this is much more serious than it is, and they've convinced everyone else that that's the case too. That brings us to the party.  I got to see most of my family on Saturday at a huge pre-wedding party for my brother Bobby and his fiancé Hillary.  Everyone expressed that they were concerned for me and that they were praying for me.  Most of the family started out by saying that they heard that I got some bad news recently.  I had to repeat about twenty times that things were going well and that it really was just some routine tests.

And really, things are going very well.  I feel great.  I went in to work three of the five days this past week since I was at the hospital the other two days.  I got myself organized, including upgrading to Ubuntu 10.4 on my work, home, and laptop computers -- I have to say that I am quite pleased with it, though they need to fix some of the bugs with Gwibber.  I started working on my proposal document, and I have about 8 pages there so far, though a good chunk of that is basically lifted from the Persona paper and needs to be condensed.  All in all, I feel great, I'm being productive, and I'm happy.  I don't think I could ask for more than that.

Oh, and even better news: because my GI tract is good now and because there's the concern that the leukemia could be coming back, the doctor dropped my steroid dosage drastically and continuously.  I'm nearly off the steroids at this point, and today is the first day in a long time that I've actually eaten roughly like a normal person.  I'm still a little hungry, but for a change I don't feel that I need to eat.  As far as I'm concerned, that's victory.