One step forward and two steps back

Well, no one said a stem cell transplant would be easy.  For a long while, I was tolerating the effects of graft-versus-host disease, an important part of the healing process because it comes along with the graft-versus-tumor effect that will guarantee that my cancer does not return.  A recent bone marrow biopsy revealed no cancer in my stem cells, and a very small amount in my blood stream (which is apparently OK, and what the graft-versus-tumor effect is taking care of).

Unfortunately, I finally got to the point where my graft-versus-host disease was no longer tolerable.  I had between stage 2 and stage 3 GVHD of the GI tract, and it got to the point where I couldn't keep anything down; I was vomiting nonstop and had unstoppable diarrhea.  So, I was readmitted to the hospital and put on a ton of steroids and immunosuppressants just as I was when I was initially treated for the stem cell transplant.  So in some sense, I feel like I'm back to square one.  But at least I have hair now!

Still, despite being back on as many --- actually more --- meds as I was back then, I am actually feeling a lot better than I had been recently, so that's good.  The only problem right now is that my hospital stay has once again left my muscles fairly atrophied.  I'm slowly building my strength back, though.  I'm able to get around the apartment pretty well at this point, though I still need to use my arms to stand up from sitting down.  Getting up and down the three flights of stairs to my apartment is still pretty tricky.

In terms of keeping my spirits up, I made a very good purchase recently: a Nook from Barnes & Noble. I absolutely love it.  I wish I had it during my recent hospital stay, but at least I'll have it for the next one.  It is incredibly comfortable to read books on it.  It feels like it was designed for my hands specifically. I suspect I will get a lot of use out of this thing; I've already read four of the Dresden Files books on it.

Additionally, I got a recipe book.  I've been having quite a bit of fun with it, and I've made a few really good dishes.  I also misinterpreted something that resulted in a glassy explosion.  It nearly traumatized me, but Ted helped me clear it up and calm down.  Hopefully I learned something and won't make the same mistake again.  The Nook isn't great as a cookbook since it takes some work to get to the recipe you want, so I might need to get a hard copy. At the same time I'd prefer to just develop an intuition and a mental repository of recipes, maybe even just compiling my own little recipe book from the recipes that are a success.  So far, my big successes have been jambalaya and something I'm going to call a lemon catfish pocket.  I'm fine with making scrambled eggs and bacon, though I had some difficulty with pancakes.  My home fries weren't quite right, but they were still tasty and I think I can fix them with some work.  In short, as per doctor's orders I've been cooking every single thing I've eaten for the past week, and it's been a lot of rewarding work.  And I've been eating a lot; the steroids make me ravenous.

So that's a basic rundown of my current status.  I haven't even been thinking about work, but I'm hoping I'll be able to start back up on Tuesday this coming week.  I really need to find a way to get back in to programming, research, and graduate school.  It's remarkably difficult to get back into the swing of things when you've been on such a long hiatus; not only is my confidence shaken, but I'm not sure where to even begin working again.  I guess all I can do is my best.