Steroids

First of all, now that I'm cancer free*, I've decided that I'm not Living With Carmichael anymore.  Hence the blog title and URL change.  100% Go For It! is my new attitude toward life and, in particular, work.  I really want to get back into work in a big way, and though physically I'm still a bit weak I think I'm finally getting in to the right mindset to get some work done.

In other news, steroids suck.  I'm on 72 mg of methylpredinsalone each day: 60 mg in the morning and 12 mg at night.  Sure, I guess they're giving me anti-inflammatory gut-GVHD-healing powers, but the side effects are terrible.  I'm all puffy with edema, my muscles are severely weakened (though they are getting stronger with use), I'm temporarily diabetic and have to manage my blood sugar with insulin injections, my appetite is absolutely ridiculous, and sometimes -- like right now -- I can't sleep. It kind of puts a cramp in my new 100% Go For It! attitude when I know I'm going to be tired in the morning, but there's nothing for it but to take more steroids and keep going.

To give you some idea of my appetite, here's what I ate today:

• 6:30 AM: Full bowl of Corn Pops cereal
• 7:00 AM: 2 Hard-boiled Eggs (including yolks)
• 8:15 AM: 2 Turkey sandwiches and 2 pickle spears (this was supposed to be lunch, but I got bored and hungry while waiting for a bus)
• 9:30 AM: 1 bag of Doritos (I needed something to snack on at work!)
• 12:00 PM: 1 Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese and 1 Large Fry from McDonalds (I'm not supposed to eat out on my neutropenic diet, but I can't resist sometimes; at least I nuked it in the microwave before eating it)
• 2:30 PM: 1 bag of animal crackers (I needed a snack after a meeting with my advisor)
• 6:00 PM: 1 large beef stir-fry (I estimate that my recipe serves 3 and I had half of it)
• 7:00 PM: 1 popsicle, two somewhat large pretzels, and a handful of gummy worms
• 8:00 PM: 1 entire quarter package of Saltines
• 10:00 PM: 3 cups of beef broth
• 2:30 AM: A handful of Corn Pops (I'm starving and I can't sleep -- not a good combination!)

I really don't know how many calories that is, but the McDonalds is probably over 1000 alone, not to mention all of the soda I've been drinking throughout the day (at least 2 20oz pepsis and 4 12oz cokes). The doctors sent me home with the instructions to try to limit my diet to about 1800-1900 calories per day; it just cannot be done!  Not on this many steroids. I'm hoping the doctor will cut my dosage down on Thursday, but I have a feeling he won't because I am still occasionally having a little bit of diarrhea and I think that's their metric for reducing the steroids. On the other hand, maybe the CT scan I got on Monday will show a drastic reduction in the inflammation in my gut and they'll feel more comfortable reducing my steroids. I wouldn't be surprised if the CT scan were very positive; in general I've been having healthy bowel movements and my GI tract feels fine now.

Okay, an hour later it's 3:00.  The real question: can I get back to sleep?



*A recent bone marrow biopsy indicates that I have 0% cancer in my stem cells and 0.004% cancerous cells in the blood stream -- supposedly the graft-versus-host effect of the stem cell transplant will eventually totally fix the blood stream but it takes time. I'm not sure how many significant digits there are on the 0%.